So, I Did Something Bad Today...

... and really felt awful about it. And it wasn't that I just goofed- it was blatant sin. When all this was going on, the Holy Spirit started convicting me but I sort of ignored him. As always, when the deed was done, I felt horrible. I felt like I threw everything I've been working for out the window. I asked God to forgive me but I still felt awful. I felt like I needed to do something more. But what? Self-mutilation (like how the monks used to do) is out of the question. I already knew that verbally abusing myself by telling myself how horrible I am wasn't going to work either. The only thing I knew to do was to ask God to take this feeling of overwhelming guilt away. So I said, "Father God, please take this feeling away." It didn't go away.

So I decided to just go on with my night. I made my bed so I could read a little when I heard Martha's voice in my head. She told me once that Jesus paid the penalty for our sin. We have to deal with the consequences sometimes but Jesus paid the penalty. That's when I realized that no penance was needed. Jesus already did all that. He took my beating and died my death. In that moment of clarity, I declared out loud, "I don't need to do anything. Jesus already did my penance for me."

Guess what? The devil left me alone and I feel peaceful and free. God is so good.

"No, in all these things we are MORE than conquerors, through him who loved us." (Romans 8:37, emphasis added.)

My Interesting Dream

I dreamed that I was at the grocery store with my dad. It was a pretty new store right next door to my house and it was very nice. I had alot of fun exploring but everything was so expensive. After a couple of hours of shopping, we decided to go check out and go home. At the front of the store were two altars. They were round and when people would put things on them, fire would come from the ceiling and consume it. We were told that they were altars to God and people put their offerings on them. Well, I didn't have enough money to buy anything to sacrifice so we just went home. I walked in the door and noticed that we had some leftover teriyaki chicken so I grabbed a piece and headed back over to the store. I really wanted to see what would happen when I offered something.

As I was crossing the bridge to go back to the store, a thought occurred to me. Was I offering something I bought myself or something convenient? If I didn't buy it myself, was it the best I could find? I came to the conclusion that the answer to both of those questions was a big fat no. I couldn't offer this to God; it wasn't my best.

My dreams rarely have lessons attached to them but this one did. Am I truly giving my best to God?

Joy for Judgment?

"Let the seas resound, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.
Let the rivers clap their hands,
let the mountains sing together for joy;
let them sing before the Lord,
for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness
and all the peoples with equity."
Psalm 98:7-9

When I started reading this Psalm, I was really excited because it was another one about the power of God. Then I read the above verses and it made me stop and think. I've never thought of looking at Judgment Day with anticipation. God's been really challenging my slightly fundamentalist thinking in the past week.

When learning about Judgment Day in Sunday School when I was a kid, it seemed kind of like a slightly scary time. Would I make it into heaven? Or did I somehow miss something that would keep me out? I started dreading it a little bit. As I've grown up, I've adjusted my thinking about it but not to the point where I've begun to look forward to it. That is, until today.

I just got an email from a friend named Debra. She forwarded this story about Judgment Day and how our thoughts and actions could be woven together to make a sort of tapestry. The person telling the story had a bunch of rags with holes in them but when it was put together, the holes made an image of the face of Jesus. His life was a testament to his submission to the Lord.

Here's what I think about Judgment Day. God said that he's sent our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). I very sure that he's not going to bring them back just for Judgment Day. Once we repent, our sins are gone and God's not going to bring them back to our attention. We can look forward to Judgment Day because we know that when we're right with God, we don't have anything to worry about. My life is a tapestry of the image of Jesus. When God examines my life, he's going to see that I enjoyed an intimate relationship with him and he's going to throw open the gates of heaven and encourage me to come in.

Are you looking forward to Judgment Day?

Jesus is My Attorney

"Even now my witness is in heaven;
my advocate is on high.
My intercessor is my friend
as my eyes pour out tears to God;
on behalf of a man he pleads with God
as a man pleads for his friend."
Job 16:19-21

Do you ever watch shows like "Law and Order?" I don't watch alot of TV but I watch "Law and Order: SVU" from time to time. The defense attorneys on the show drive me nuts but I have to admire their tenacity. I don't know that they always believe their client is innocent but they fight for them nonetheless.

When I first read (and paid attention to) this Scripture, that's sort of the picture that came to mind. I'm the defendant in God's court and Jesus is my attorney. Having Jesus acting on my behalf is very important to me. Sometimes it feels like I don't have anyone to fight for me so it means alot of have Jesus acting in my defense. 1 John 2:1 says that Jesus, the Righteous One, speaks to the Father in our defense. Hebrews 7:25 says that he lives to intercede for us.

I like how Job uses the word "friend" twice in this passage. It was important to him to have a friend who has God's ear. It's important for us to have a friend who pleads with God on our behalf. This friend loves us, cares for our well-being, and wants us to be in communion with God. God radically changed our relationship with him when he came as Jesus to make a path for us to have direct communication with him. What a great act of mercy, huh?

We can rest secure in the knowledge that Jesus is on our side (if we are on his) and is listened to by the Father. Through Jesus, our sins are forgiven and we have a place in heaven. Praise the Lord!

Nehemiah 9:5b-7a

Stand up and praise the Lord your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. You alone are the Lord. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you. You are the Lord God...

God is Greater!

The Bible cracks me up. 1 Samuel 5:1-4 is an awesome telling of the power of God before all other gods. Here's what happened:

The Philistines (you remember them? They were the annoying group of people who were always picking on the Israelites) went into battle against the Israelites and captured the ark of God. They took it to the temple of their god, Dagon, and set it next to the statue of Dagon. They did it to demonstrate Dagon's superiority over God. But imagine their surprise when they went into the temple the next day and Dagon was on the ground, facedown, before the ark! So, they picked him up and the next day he was on the ground again, only his head and hands had been broken off and were lying at the entrance to the temple.

Now at first reading, I sort of pictured God slapping Dagon upside the head and sending him flying to the floor. But then the verse in Philippians came to mind-

"Because of that obedience, God lifted [Jesus] high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth- even those long dead and buried- will bow down in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father." Philippians 2:9-11 (MSG)

The ark was the tangible representation of God's presence to the world. Any other gods didn't stand a chance. I'm not biblical scholar but I think that the devil masquerading as Dagon couldn't handle being in the same room as the Lord and fell in submission because...

"... our God is greater than all other gods"!!
(2 Chronicles 2:5b, NIV)

Hearts Intertwined

I love God. He's so beyond anything I know or can imagine. He is pure, loving, gracious, merciful, powerful, passionate, good, mighty, eternal, attentive, and awesome- just to name a few. For some reason beyond my comprehension he is all those things in an abundance to me.

We've been reading about King David in our Bible study this week. We talked about him today and the thing that really jumped out at me was the fact that God called him a man after his own heart. I started thinking about what that would mean for me if God called me a woman after his own heart. I decided that I want my heart to be intertwined with God's. I want our hearts to be so meshed that people can't tell us apart. So I made a vow to God. I promised him that I would throw off the things of this world that try to wrap their way around my heart. I asked him to show me the things that bring him joy so they can bring me joy as well. I asked him to break my heart for what breaks his. I asked him to make me passionate about the things he's passionate about. I made a solemn oath to give him everything I am and all that I have.

I decided that I needed a daily visual reminder of my promise. I needed something that I could glance at and remember my oath. Since I'm constantly looking at my hands, I decided a ring would be the best thing. God took me to the perfect store and showed me the perfect ring (in the perfect price range, might I add- ha, ha). It's a simple sterling silver band and it looks like a single strand of rope, folded over and each end is hooked together. It's impossible to tell how it would come unhooked because each end is hooked to the other. This is a poor description but the point is that it would be impossible to unhook these loops. That's how I want my heart to be with God's.

The Inconvenient God

I was at choir last night and it seemed like everyone was tired. There was no energy and some lack of cooperation. It had been raining all day so the mood for the Denver metro area was sort of laid back and tired. So when 8:00 finally rolled around, alot of people were ready to leave the church and go home. We had a gal named Keri filling in for Scott while he is away. She seems like the sweetest lady and really wanted to make sure that we were ready for Sunday so she kept us all of ten minutes late. When she was finished she told us to meet in our sections (which confused me simply because I have only been in the choir a combined total of maybe three months and I've never met with my section). People started telling her that we don't do that anymore and Martha (I was so proud) stood up and said that we were doing it tonight. So grumbling and complaining, everyone got into groups and started praying. I must give a disclaimer and say that I don't fault the people who had children at all. They needed to do their thing and they did it.

A couple of ladies in my section got kind of irritated and started asking Diane what time choir was supposed to get out and said they had to get home. I don't know what they expected her to do about it except apologize profusely on Keri and Scott's behalf- which she didn't. If she had, I would have had to smack her. We prayed and let me tell you, Ruth's prayer was definitely worth waiting for.

But it made me start thinking about how we sometimes treat God as an inconvenience. We tell the Creator of the universe that we don't have time for him. We tell the Redeemer that we don't want to talk to him. We show the Almighty God that our schedules mean more to us than his grace. How can we not pause for five minutes with brothers and sisters in Christ and bring our joys and sorrows to him?

Instead of jumping on the opportunity to curl up with our heavenly Father, we jump into our cars and go. Let me ask this question honestly. Please hear it as just a question and not a complaint:

Why is it so hard to stop for a minute and focus on God?

Do I Trust God?

I read Genesis 1-16 today and something jumped out at me. Genesis 12 talks about God coming to Abram and telling him to move. Verse 1 says, "The Lord had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.'"

Go to the land I will show you.

Go to the land I will show you.

Abram was living in a place called Haran with his family and God called him away. This was post Tower of Babel so everyone was supposed to be moving and populating the earth anyway so it's not really too big of a deal that God called Abram to move. The big deal is that he didn't tell him where to go.

God gives Abram this great promise and tells him that he's going to make him into a great nation, that he'll bless him and everyone on earth will be blessed because of him. So Abram, feeling pretty good I would imagine, takes his wife and his nephew (and all their servants and stuff) and heads out to Canaan. Some things happen, Abram moves around a bit more, and then he and Lot decide that they have to separate because this isn't enough natural resources to support both their families. Abram tells Lot to choose a place to live and says that he'll live wherever Lot doesn't choose. Lot makes a decision and that's when God comes to Abram and shows him the land he promised.

God kept his promise to Abram because Abram followed him obediently. God showed Abram where to settle at just the right time.

Abram had been obsessing about providing a heir even though God had already told him (twice) that he was going to have a bunch of offspring (a.k.a. children). But God doesn't chastise Abram for worrying about having a son. It was a real concern and God told him that he was going to give him a butt load of kids. My favorite verse in this passage is Genesis 15:6- "Abram believed the Lord, and he credited to him as righteousness."

Abram believed God.

Now, we all know that he goofed things up a little with the whole Hagar thing (and that was because he listened to someone who obviously didn't believe God's promise) but that hadn't happened yet. He was ready to take God at his word.

How ready am I to take God at his word? He's promised all these great things but when time goes on and I don't really see evidence that he's keeping his promise, do I still trust him? It's human nature to want rewards right away. But it's a characteristic of a child of the King to keep believing those promises even when they don't come to completion right away.

All the 9:10 in the Bible

So, my birthday is in about a week and a half on September 10th (9/10) so I decided to go through the Bible and write down all the passages that have a 9:10 reference. Not sure what I'll find, so here I go. A word of caution: These verses are all part of a larger story. Don't read the verse and assume anything. You gotta read them in context to get the full picture and meaning.

1. Genesis 9:10- "... and with every living creature that was with you- the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you- every living creature on earth."

2. Exodus 9:10- "So they took soot from a furnace and stood before Pharaoh. Moses tossed it into the air, and festering boils broke out on men and animals."

3. Leviticus 9:10- "On the altar he burned the fat, the kidneys and the covering of the liver from the sin offering, as the Lord commanded Moses..."

4. Numbers 9:10- "'Tell the Israelites: 'When any of you or your descendants are unclean because of a dead body or are away on a journey, they may still celebrate the Lord's Passover.''"

5. Deuteronomy 9:10- "The Lord gave me two stone tablets inscribed by the finger of God. On them were all the commandments the Lord procalimed to you on the mountain out of the fire, on the day of assembly."

6. Joshua 9:10- "... and all that he did to the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan- Sihon king of Heshbon, and Og king of Bashan, who reigned in Ashtaroth."

7. Judges 9:10- "Next, the trees said to the fig tree, 'Come and be our king.'"

8. Ruth- Ends at 4:22

9. 1 Samuel 9:10- "'Good,' Saul said to his servant. 'Come, let's go.' So they set out for the town where the man of God was."

10. 2 Samuel 9:10- "'You and your sons and your servants are to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master's grandson may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table.' (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.)"

11. 1 Kings 9:10- "At the end of twenty years, during which Solomon built these two buildings- the temple of the Lord and the royal palace-"

12. 2 Kings 9:10- "As for Jezebel, dogs will devour her on the plot of ground at Jezreel, and no one will bury her.' Then he opened the door and ran."

13. 1 Chronicles 9:10- "Of the priests: Jedaiah; Jehoiarib; Jakin;"

14. 2 Chronicles 9:10- "(The men of Hiram and the men of Solomon brought gold from Ophir; they also brought algumwood and precious stones."

15. Ezra 9:10- "But now, O our God, what can we say after this? For we have disregarded the commands..."

16. Nehemiah 9:10- "You sent miraculous signs and wonders against Pharaoh, against all his officials and all the people of his land, for you knew how arrogantly the Egyptians treated them. You made a name for yourself, which remains to this day."

17. Esther 9:10- "... the ten sons of Haman son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews. But they did not lay their hands on the plunder."

18. Job 9:10- "He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."

19. Psalm 9:10- "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.:

20. Proverbs 9:10- "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

21. Ecclesiastes 9:10- "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are goings, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom."

22. Song of Songs 9:10- Song of Songs ends at 8:14.

23. Isaiah 9:10- "The bricks have fallen down, but we will rebuild with dressed stone; the fig trees have been felled, but we will replace them with cedars."

24. Jeremiah 9:10- "I will weep and wail for the mountains and take up a lament concerning the desert pastures. They are desolate and untraveled, and the lowing of the cattle is not heard. The birds of the air have fled and the animals are gone."

25. Lamentations 9:10- Lamentations ends at 5:22

26. Ezekiel 9:10- "So I will not look on them with pity or spare them, but I will bring down on their own heads what they have done."

27. Daniel 9:10- "... we have not obeyed the Lord our God or kept the laws he gave us through his servants the prophets."

28. Hosea 9:10- "When I found Israel, it was like finding grapes in the desert; when I saw your fathers, it was like seeing the early fruit on the fig tree. But when they came to Baal Peor, they consecrated themselves to that shameful idol and became as vile as the thing they loved."

29. Joel 9:10- Joel ends at 3: 21

30. Amos 9:10- "All the sinners among my people will die by the sword, all those who say, 'Disaster will not overtake or meet us.'"

31. Obadiah 9:10- Obadiah ends at 1:21

32. Jonah 9:10- Jonah ends at 4:11

33. Micah 9:10- Micah ends at 7:20

34. Nahum 9:10- Nahum ends at 3:19

35. Habakkuk 9:10- Habakkuk ends at 3:19

36. Zephaniah 9:10- Zephaniah ends at 3:20

37. Haggai 9:10- Haggai ends at 2:25

38. Zechariah 9:10- "I will take away the chariots from Ephraim and the war-horses from Jerusalem, and the battle bow will be broken."

39. Malachi 9:10- Malachi ends at 4:6

40. Matthew 9:10- "While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and 'sinners' came and ate with him and his disciples."

41. Mark 9:10- "They kept the matter to themselves, discussing what 'rising from the dead' meant."

42. Luke 9:10- "When the apostles returned, they reported to Jesus what they had done. Then he took them with him and they withdrew by themselves to a town called Bethsaida..."

43. John 9:10- "'How then were your eyes opened?' they demanded."

44. Acts 9:10- "In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, 'Ananias!' 'Yes, Lord,' he answered."

45. Romans 9:10- "Not only that, but Rebekah's children had one and the same father, our father, Isaac."

46. 1 Corinthians 9:10- "Surely he says this for us, doesn't he? Yes, this was written for us, because when the plowman plows and the thresher threshes, they ought to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest."

47. 2 Corinthians 9:10- "Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness."

48. Galatians 9:10- Galatians ends at 6: 18

49. Ephesians 9:10- Ephesians ends at 6:24

50. Philippians 9:10- Philippians ends at 4:23

51. Colossians 9:10- Colossians ends at 4:18

52. 1 Thessalonians 9:10- 1 Thessalonians ends at 5:28

53. 2 Thessalonians 9:10- 2 Thessalonians ends at 3:18

54. 1 Timothy 9:10- 1 Timothy ends at 6:21

55. 2 Timothy 9:10- 2 Timothy ends at 4:22

56. Titus 9:10- Titus ends at 3:15

57. Philemon 9:10- Philemon ends at 1:25

58. Hebrews 9:10- "They are only a matter of food and drink and various ceremonial washings- external regulations applying until the time of the new order."

59. James 9:10- James ends at 5:20

60. 1 Peter 9:10- 1 Peter ends at 5:14

61. 2 Peter 9:10- 2 Peter ends at 3:18

62. 1 John 9:10- 1 John ends at 5:21

63. 2 John 9:10- 2 John ends at 1:13

64. 3 John 9:10- 3 John ends at 1:14

65. Jude 9:10- Jude ends at 1:25

66. Revelation 9:10- "They had tails and stings like scorpions, and in their tails they had power to torment people for five months."

WHEW! Again, this totally confirmed how important it is to read the ENTIRE story and not just pick out random verses from the Bible. They are confusing by themselves but mean the world when you understand the whole story.

How Confident Are You?

Mornings in my house are the same every day. I wake up and walk to the bathroom. On my way there, I pause at the top of the stairs and look down into the living room. My Schnauzer, Holly, is always laying on the couch. She looks up at me and I say, "Good morning, Holly! How's my baby?" She then puts her head down like I'm no one interesting and I go about my routine. I go back into my room and all of a sudden, she appears in my doorway, excited that I'm awake. I sit down on the floor in the middle of my room and invite her in. She ducks her head, squats on her back legs, and approaches me like a peon approaching a high king who can order a person's execution for looking at him wrong. I keep calling her to come into my room and play with me, but she approaches me that way every time. She won't enter my room if there's some sort of a barrier between me and her. This morning it was my purse that was sitting next to me. I moved it but she still wouldn't come in further.

Smokey, on the other hand, knows he's my baby and pushes his way into my room, plops down on my lap, and rolls over for his morning belly rub. He jumps over the shoe or walks around the purse and doesn't let those things come between us. Smokey knows that he's loved and takes every opportunity to get some of that love. Holly knows she's loved but doesn't really have the courage to claim alot of that love for herself. I kind of got frustrated yesterday and just said, "Holly! Approach me with confidence and you'll be spoiled beyond your wildest dreams!"

My statement reminded me of Hebrews 4:16. It says, "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Galatians 3:26-4:7 talks about us being sons (and daughters) of God. And since we're his kids, that means we're his heirs. I looked up "heir" on Merriam-Webster and it said a related word was "claimant." We have the liberty to claim what God has for ourselves. What's that? Romans 6:22-23 says that it's freedom from sin and eternal life.

Check out this verse from Galatians 3:28-29- "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise."

Since God loves us so much and wants to spoil the pants off us, let's approach God with confidence. He's not going to smite us if we look at him wrong. If that were true, we'd all be dead before we emerged from the womb. He wants us to come to him with confidence- to proclaim to the world that we are heirs and heiresses of God.